Speak to Me of Love
(This article on the languages of love offered a new perspective to me on how two people can often miscommunicate their intentions. If you prefer to receive love in one manner, and I tend to offer love in a different manner, you will feel unfilled because of our miscommunication. It's not because I'm trying to deceive, it's because I only use one preferred love language. Alvah Parker gives us a new perspective on this idea of the language of love. Read on and see what I mean!)
Speak to Me of Love
Alvah Parker
Dovid Grossman, a coach and father of nine, recently told me that his father and he had fought constantly through his growing up years. Through it all, his mother was the referee. Finally when Dovid was 17 years old he sat down with his father and said, "I want to have a close relationship with you." He was flabbergasted when his father said, "I've tried to do that your whole life but I don't know how."The conversation made a strong impression on me because I too had a stormy relationship with my father. I tell people I had sibling rivalry with my father! Gary Chapman, pastor and marriage counselor, noticed that if you want to truly connect with your loved one you need to know and speak his or her love language. A love language is the way we express our devotion and commitment, and it can be learned or changed to touch the hearts of our partners.Chapman says there are 5 Love Languages.
They are:
- Receiving Gifts – Presents and physical tokens of affection move you.
- Quality Time – This can be expressed either through those intimate tête-à-tête discussions or via doing things together.
- Acts of Service – You prefer to show your love through favors and chores and doing things for others.
- Physical Touch – You want to give and/or receive affection physically.
- Words of Affirmation – You need to hear praise to know you are loved, and you may also prefer to express your affection verbally.
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On March 15th Gary will be interviewed by Dovid about the book The Five Love Languages for Teenagers on a teleclass (class that is given on the telephone) sponsored by Coachville.com. (Check their website for more information.)Dovid also started a group called Awesome Dads at Coachville (www.AwesomeDads.com), because after his experience he realized that most fathers want to connect powerfully on a deep emotional level with their children. His group meets regularly by telephone to discuss various proficiencies of fatherhood.Are you interested in "Connecting powerfully on a deep emotional level"? If so Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages may provide you with the tools to do just that.
Alvah Parker is a Business and Career Coach as well as publisher of Parker's Points, an email tip list and Road to Success, an ezine. Parker works with high potential professionals who want to make their work fun, fulfilling and profitable. Her clients are managers, business owners, sole practioners, attorneys and people in transition. Alvah is found on the web at www.asparker.com. She may also be reached at 781-598-0388.
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Self Improvement Quote for the Week
-- Updated on Wednesday, August 6, 2008 --
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. –Mark Twain
